On the run (For salio)

[elementsofchaos]

Back in Ohio again. He's not in Cincinnati this time, maybe an hour or two east, but it's far enough from his previous stopping point in Michigan that he feels as close to safe as he ever does. The further from the Thermopolis compound he gets, the more he can breathe, though he never dares to hope for a full deep breath. He parks on a suburban street near a small brownstone apartment building, sliding open the Grotto's side door to enjoy a little night air. If he smoked, he probably would've lit up, but as it is he simply sits on the floorboards and hangs his legs out the open door. Maybe he should take off his sneakers, feel the grass between his toes for a bit. But no, he always has to be ready to leave at a moment's notice when he's in civilization. There's no telling who could be an agent of his family, willing or unwitting.

Jovan heaves a sigh, turning his attention up to the sky. It's cloudy, he wishes he could see the stars. There's a heaviness to the air, something ominous, but it doesn't feel like a storm. Hard to tell if it's all in his head, but he stills himself and his breathing to listen.

There are sirens in the distance.

Comments

[elementsofchaos]

He can't tell Sal the full reason, of course. How could he explain his ability to read the pressure and vibration of auras, picking up the mental states of people with supernatural senses? It's a unique skill even amongst the most talented members of his family. Even if Sal believed him, there's little chance the traumatized boy would feel safe with someone who can effectively sense his emotions. And none of this approaches the fact that Jovan is still on the run, when leaving any loose threads is dangerous to his continued freedom.

But he can be honest about part of why he helped Sal, why he still wants to help after that horrific revelation. "Because I know you need it right now. You're not a monster."

It hurts to need help and not be able to find it anywhere. Sal has suffered enough, and Jovan can't stop his own stupid, soft heart.

[salio]

Slowly, Sal dares to turn around so he can glance up at Sebastian. Sure enough, he looks so...sad. So understanding. He swallows again, but seems to be calming again, a little bit at a time. Still, it's hard to know what to do or what to say after giving such an admission, especially when he expected it to result in complete rejection...maybe even worse.

"You might be the only one who thinks that."

And anyone else who knew Sal, anyone close enough to hear the news...they'll soon enough think he's a monster, too. He doubts even Ashley would understand.

[elementsofchaos]

Sighing, Jovan guides Sal back to the van and gently urges him to sit down. "Look, I'm... kinda good at laying low. Family pressure and all that, when I want to live my own life." It's a safe version of the story, when used infrequently. "We stay away from Nockfell, help you keep on the down-low, and you learn how to survive on the fringes. It's not glamorous or easy, but it's better than whatever you probably would've dealt with if you'd stayed. I'm not going to ditch you, as long as you respect my boundaries, okay?"

Like not asking too many questions or trying to follow him when he goes off alone for a few hours. Small thing to ask, right?

[salio]

"You really..."

Sal sits, considering his words as his fingers knit together and grip one another tightly. Underneath his mask, Sal chews on the part of his mouth that still has lips.

"You don't mind me being around? You'd be harboring a fugitive and I...I'd really hate to repay you for what you've done by putting you in a position like that."

But damn if he doesn't want to just say yes. It wouldn't make him feel better, exactly, but at least he wouldn't have the dread of being stranded with no survival skills hanging over his head. He'd likely get found and arrested before he even had the chance to starve out in the wilderness.

[elementsofchaos]

"Let's just say I'm... uniquely qualified to do this. And before you ask, no, I don't have a record or anything. I'm just really used to being off-grid and living really under the radar."

He knows really well how risky this is. But the thought of leaving Sal to whatever fate awaited him in Nockfell doesn't sit well with Jovan at all. Something about the place felt off when he wasn't drowning in the despair of Sal's aura.

"We're going to be zig-zagging around the country at random. Sometimes in cities, sometimes out in the woods. You'll have to help out, so I'll teach you about wilderness survival and foraging, as well as urban stealth camping. But don't expect to put down roots anywhere. If you're with me, you're a nomad for the duration." His voice hasn't been loud or stern, but it softens further now. "But it's a chance I feel like you deserve, to make up for the pain of what you had to do."

[salio]

Sal nods quietly. He'd be pretty hard-pressed to believe, at this point, that any possible crime Sebastian could be guilty of would be any more horrific than what he's done, or what the cult was actively doing. The first nod seems a bit automatic, but when a second one comes, there's a deep breath that accompanies it. Resolve.

"I can do that. Home for me isn't really Nockfell so much as the people I live with." A pained hesitation. "That I lived with."

He wants to chew at his nails until they're red and aching but his mask stops him from the compulsion.

"I don't know anything about camping, but I'm happy to help. It's...really the least I can do, if you're going this far out on a limb for me."

[elementsofchaos]

"Good. Tomorrow, I'm teaching you wild foraging. Have you ever gone fishing before, either?"

In some ways, urban stealth camping is tougher than being in the woods. You have to blend into society, make a large vehicle seem like work equipment rather than someone's home while out in the open. But being outside away from civilization comes with its own challenges. He's definitely not expecting Sal to gather mushrooms anytime soon.

"I think the distractions will help you. Focus on living, instead of what you left behind." Water and soil, to wipe away blood and shadow.

[salio]

"No. It was something...something my dad talked about, but there was never really a good time." Always something going on. If not something traumatic and awful, just life being the way it was. A single dad trying to make ends meet, a growing boy with a lot of issues just trying to navigate through the complexities of academia. At least it hadn't been so lonely once he met Larry and the others.

Instinctively, Sal reaches for Gizmo, who hasn't moved from his spot on the edge of the van.

"I hope so. I can't remember the last time I thought about something...normal." The demons were always there, in the back of his mind. His nightmares. All around him, reminders of how dangerous and bizarre his life was. Keeping him looking over his shoulder...and he had one hell of a blind spot.

[elementsofchaos]

"... guess you got bullied a lot, huh?" He taps his cheek with a fingertip, indicating Sal's mask. "Doesn't matter what happened to you or how or any of that, kids can be cruel. Even ones in your own family. I have a cousin who's a complete asshole, we hate each other's guts."

Of course, he's not saying anything about how that cousin would kill him for his power....

Normal. There's a word Jovan has wanted to understand his entire life, but no matter what he does, he's only ever pretending. He can't ever be normal. The reminders of how precarious his freedom is, how bizarre his life is, are all around him. They're a part of him.

"I try not to think about anything but the moment, maybe a couple steps ahead. Every time I try planning long-term, I want to scream. Life just loves messing with people like us, I guess. But sometimes, we don't have a choice, we have to keep going because stopping and letting it run us over is worse. Maybe that's my normal."

[salio]

Sebastian says people like us and Sal doesn't feel at all, somehow, like he's far off base. Whatever this guy's story was, it clearly lead him to live a nomadic lifestyle. Most people don't just do that for fun. Listening to Sebastian talk, Sal feels himself relax more, at least physically. There's only so relaxed he can really feel, right now. It'll take a lot longer to be truly at ease--and that's not something he can even imagine.

"Yeah," he agrees after a moment of quiet. "I feel like screaming sometimes, too."

Gizmo starts purring underneath his thin fingers and polished nails.

"So...what are we doing, today?"

[elementsofchaos]

"Should start off easy. I'm gathering mushrooms, which you're not doing until you're more experienced. But it's pawpaw season so I'll teach you about those. You feel confident enough to try fishing, too?"

He's got enough dry goods for a while, though they'll only last half as long with a second person. That means more foraging to compensate. Chanterelles should be around, maybe some chicken of the woods or even trumpet of the dead if they're really lucky. "If there's anything you can't eat, let me know. Otherwise there's no room to be picky."

[salio]

"What...is a pawpaw?"

Sounds weird. City boy turned small-town-boy clearly only knows so much. But at least the prospect of doing something seems to calm him down more. After giving Sebastian a chance to explain, he clears his throat.

"Anyway, I'm not picky. Some things are a little hard for me to eat without it being a mess but I can manage anything, really. I don't know if I'd say I'm feeling confident about much, right now, but if you give me a fishing pole I'll give it my best effort."

[elementsofchaos]

"Wild fruit, kinda looks like a fat banana with big seeds. It even tastes like banana custard with hints of mango and pineapple. Usually you cut them in half and squeeze the pulp into your mouth, but you have to spit out the seeds." Jovan pauses, biting his lip nervously. Something Sal just said makes him wonder if spitting out seeds is impossible. Asking the question hovering on his lips, however, feels intrusive and wrong. Sal's already been through so much. What if talking about what lies beneath that mask is another trigger?

But he needs to know about any special equipment his new vanmate might require. So he takes a deep breath and asks, though hesitantly: "Sal, you said some things are hard for you to eat, and I saw some scar tissue on your jaw. So... how damaged is your mouth? Anything special I need to do so you can eat? And is there anything triggering I have to worry about doing around you?"

[salio]

"That's, like, super specific." He laughs slightly, trying to imagine this fat banana-mango-pineapple when Sebastian asks his follow-up question. There's definitely a hesitation, some slight tension to his shoulders, but nothing like the trauma of what he's just been through. Sal shakes his head.

"No, it's okay. Unless you plan on pointing a shotgun in my face you're not likely to trigger me." He clears his throat. That was kind of cryptic, wasn't it? "I'm missing roughly half of my mouth. Mostly just the skin--I've had a lot of reconstruction done but there's only so much you can do with a gaping hole."

Another pause. "A man attacked us--my mom and I, I mean, while we were relaxing in a park one day. I was really young, so I honestly don't remember it very well. For a long time, I'd been convinced we were attacked by a dog. The doctors saw the damage we took, though, and knew it was from a shotgun. I was told later that she shielded me from the blast--it's the only reason I'm still alive. She must've seen the gunman and stepped between us."

[elementsofchaos]

Another jolt of absolute horror twists Jovan's guts, and he really can't keep this one off his face, either. "Someone shot you... in the face?" He rakes a hand through his hair, trying to comprehend such a scenario even as his brain tries to reject it. A shotgun blast that ripped up half of Sal's face and did gods know what to his mother... and Sal said he was really young. He's not even that old to begin with!

He can't speak again for a minute or two, can barely breathe. How the fuck has Sal been through so much without losing his mind? And how hard does Jovan have to slap that cosmic asshole across the face for dumping so much chaos onto one person? Is Sal a black hole for bad luck? His presence might mean Jovan is screwed, but he's too far invested in this gentle kid and his cat to kick them out now.

Fuuuuuuck.

"So...." His voice cracks slightly, he coughs and tries again. "So you wear the mask to protect the scar tissue, and so people don't stare." No wonder Sal eats with it mostly in place, he probably figures Jovan will boot him to the street out of sheer disgust. No way. It will never happen. "All because some random nutcase decided to shoot a mom and her kid for no reason."

[salio]

"More or less, yeah. The prosthetic makes people stare, as it is, but it would be worse, without it." He'd rather be looked at like he's a weirdo making a fashion statement than some kind of horror movie monster. Talking about his actual face, Sal finds himself fidgeting a bit more. "I'm kind of missing...everything from here over."

He indicates the damaged side of his face from his nose over, tucking back some of his hair to show where the ear is partially missing, as well.

"This eye's fake, too."

[elementsofchaos]

"Oh my god...."

Jovan buries his face in his hands with a strangled sound. He feels like he's about to cry. Sal's so young, been through so much, and yet he's gentle and sweet. How much he wants to find the fucker who did this and immolate him, because that kind of monster shouldn't exist in any world. This can't be real, it's too much, but he can feel no deception in Sal's aura.

"You're just a kid, how the hell has so much of your life been an utter nightmare? How strong are you that you haven't taken yourself out after all this shit?"

[salio]

...a kid?

"Oh, um..."

Embarrassing, but he's not exactly surprised. It's not the first time he's been mistaken for someone much younger...or a different gender than what he identifies as.

"I'm actually 23. I mean, I'm not gonna say that it's been easy, but at least it isn't all as condensed as you're imagining." As for the offing himself question...Sal decides not to really linger on it. Some nights are worse than others, and he knows that's only going to be even more true from now on.

[elementsofchaos]

What??

Jovan’s head snaps up and he’s openly gawking, not in horror but definitely more than a little surprised. Did he actually hear that right? “Y—you’re twenty-three?! You’re two years older than me!”

He’s been calling Sal a kid, thinking of him as no more than sixteen, if that! The small stature and gangly build screamed young teen to him, and now he feels like a complete ass. Groaning, he buries his face in his hands again, not quite muffling his exasperated self-flagellation. “I’m so sorry, I’m such a fucking idiot. Feel free to laugh at me.”

[salio]

Sal only shakes his head, hesitating before reaching over and putting his hand on Sebastian's arm. "It's fine, really. You should've seen me just a few years ago--when I was still in high school I looked like I was a ten-year-old girl--so between that and the prosthetic, I've gotten a lot of misunderstandings and unsavory comments."

The mistake about his age is so minor in comparison to some of the more hate-filled things he's been called that it doesn't even register as offensive.

"Thanks for apologizing, but it's really no big deal." A little awkwardly, he adds after a pause, "if this makes you more uncomfortable--if you don't want to take me along with you, anymore, knowing how old I am, I completely understand."

[elementsofchaos]

Jovan drops his hands with a sigh, shaking his head. "No... no, I'm not that much of an ass. Your age doesn't matter, you still need help. I'm just sorry if I came across as condescending at any point because I thought you were like... fourteen or fifteen." He makes a face, saying that out loud definitely makes it seem even worse.

He looks up at Sal, really taking in the eyes beyond the mask. One real, one fake. A mangled ear hidden under hair. Hints of scars along the jaw and chin. And what he knows is under the mask, even if he can scarcely imagine the extent of it. Of course he's not retracting his help. Even though Sal's not a child, he's one person against so much chaos. If anything, Jovan feels even more honor-bound to aid him now that he knows how hard chaos curb-stomped this poor guy.

"I'm not going to ditch you. I have my reasons, but... until you choose to go out on your own, I'm here to help. Don't ask me to explain why, just accept it, okay?"

[salio]

"Hey--if you were, I've definitely been too much of a mess to notice." And even condescending he'd take over outright aggression. Realizing he still has his hand on the other young man's arm, Sal retracts it back toward Gizmo, scratching the big cat behind an ear. Gizmo presses into his palm as Sal nods along.

"Okay. Fair enough. Just--if you ever feel like it isn't worth it, I won't be offended. Just ask at any point and I'll leave you be." That said, though, he admits, "It's still a huge relief, though...thank you. I'm glad not to be alone."

[elementsofchaos]

Jovan startles slightly as Sal moves his hand away. He hadn't even realized the other man was touching him, distracted by one shock after another. His eyes follow that hand to Gizmo. "Noted, but don't worry. It would take a hell of a lot for me to ditch you. I don't think my conscience could handle anything short of you trying to kill me or something."

Somehow he manages a faint smile, so Sal knows his next words are a gentle tease. "Besides, I like Gizmo. I'd miss him too much if you left."

[salio]

Sal finds himself letting out a breath he didn't realize he'd been holding when Sebastian reaffirms his stance. He nods, rubbing the back of his neck. "Yeah, Gizmo's the best. Isn't that right, bud?"

Gizmo positively preens, eyes closed with a satisfied cattish grin on his little face, big loafing body rumbling with purrs.

"You'll have to hide any junk food you get, though. Unlike me, this guy'll eat you out of house and home." An absolute fiend when he sees a bag of goodies he knows isn't meant for him.

[elementsofchaos]

"Well I don't keep a lot of junk food around, since space and money are a factor, but I did get some good cat food and treats for him. Hopefully he likes what I picked out. And if we have chicken or fish for dinner, I'll be sure to share."

Jovan reaches out to pet Gizmo, glad that the cat is big enough for both of them to shower him with attention at the same time. Though more than once, their fingers barely touch among orange and white fur. The flickers Jovan picks up in Sal's aura prickle like needles in his chest. He wishes he could make that pain-- Sal's pain-- go away.

"When you're ready, we'll get started with some nature lessons. I promise Gizmo will be safe in the van."