Sal can feel his whole body shaking as he turns to look at their joined hands. He can't explain how, or why, but even after all that he's been through he doesn't feel as if he should be distrustful or uncertain of the other young man. But how? Here he is, looking like a psychopath. Blood aside, he's an unsettling presence to run into on a brightly lit day. Seeing him in the middle of the night like this? Sal wouldn't have blamed him if he'd started screaming.
I wish that were true, he thinks. I do deserve it, no matter what my intentions are.
There's no way that Sal could ever forgive himself, not for this. Even if it saved Nockfell. Even if it saved the whole world. The cost was so, so terrible.
But he can't bring himself to accept punishment, either. Maybe it makes him pragmatic or maybe it makes him a coward. Either way, the tears start up again as his resolve breaks.
"I don't know what to do. There's nowhere I can go from here."
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Date: 2023-08-16 09:41 pm (UTC)I wish that were true, he thinks. I do deserve it, no matter what my intentions are.
There's no way that Sal could ever forgive himself, not for this. Even if it saved Nockfell. Even if it saved the whole world. The cost was so, so terrible.
But he can't bring himself to accept punishment, either. Maybe it makes him pragmatic or maybe it makes him a coward. Either way, the tears start up again as his resolve breaks.
"I don't know what to do. There's nowhere I can go from here."